How this all began...

So I've been encouraged to keep a journal of my thoughts during this time. There is wisdom is this advice, because, even though things are hard, I can come back to this in the future to learn from my past.

When you break up with a boyfriend, things change. However, when you break off an engagement, things are intensified. You see, when you break up with someone, you play out a thousand scenarios in your head of how to handle different situations. But no matter how much you prepare yourself, the next day, it's the one coworker you'd never expect who comes up to you, says "I heard the bad news. Are you okay?" and suddenly, your mind is spinning as you plaster a smile on your face and nod, just in time to walk briskly to bathroom, choking back sobs as you pass customers and try to be inconspicuous. You then spend the next 10 minutes cleaning the bathrooms, hoping that no one notices your blotchy face and mentions it, lest you start all over again.
And then one day, you wake up, and it hurts a little less. You think about him only 23 hours, 59 minutes of the day. You can start to eat again and wake up one less time at night. This is the point I've reached. I've realized a few things about our time together. It reminds me of a saying, "Never regret something that once made you smile." While I disagree with this applying to all walks of life, I do belive that it rings true for me right now. Many girls would say things like "I wish I hadn't wasted all those years," or "If I had known, I wouldn't have gone through it," but that's not the way I feel. I got to grow up with someone. I got to watch him grow and change and learn how to adjust to that. I made friends that have helped me change my life.

My name is Michelle. I am 18 years old and have an ex-fiance because of reasons known only to him. The name David Michael {last name} and the person that it belongs to, will forever hold a special place in my heart: my first love. I spent 4 years, 7 months, and 27 days making "Me" into "We." I know him better than he knows himself and I believe he would say the same about me.We went through births, and deaths, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations. We went through extreme joy and intense sorrow. There was laughter and there were tears. And I don't regret a minute.